Emilie Silverwood-Cope: What I would do if I had 50 days as Prime Minister

We are all financially on our knees by the end of those six weeks, bankrupted by ice creams and our children have gone Lord of the Flies. So, instead of the annual debate about whether our children need to bring the harvest, let’s just cut the summer break to four weeks. We could spread it around a bit more evenly and tag on some extra days to half terms. No one needs to lose their annual holiday allowance. I predict fewer nervous breakdowns for parents, reduced holiday costs all round and feral children not dropping 25 IQ points by the end of August.

Build some swimming pools

Admittedly I am unlikely to get much done in just 50 days but it’ll be more than what’s been achieved in the last decade or so. Since 2010 England has lost almost 400 swimming pools. If I was your supreme leader I’d come up with a nifty way to redress this and prioritise family sessions and lessons. Children would have somewhere to learn to swim and do this thing called ‘fitness’ and ‘fun’. I could shoehorn in some statistics about the looming obesity and mental health crisis but I think you can probably guess where I am going with this.

Help parents of disabled children

Parents of disabled children found themselves at the intersection of a cost of living crisis and a care crisis in 2023. Three out of four of them had to give up work to care for their children while waiting lists for NHS support grew - everything from wheelchairs to speech therapy is now at the end of never-ending waiting list. Solutions require money and effort but begin with the determination to prioritise the most vulnerable children in our society. I think I could find the money. How are those online safety rules and fines for social media companies coming along?

£10 family rail ticket to anywhere in the UK

I dislike driving and have a terrible sense of direction so this one is very much for my benefit. Germany did something similar for one month in a post-Covid attempt to get the economy going again. Trains were packed with day trippers and the economy was duly boosted. Women with a poor sense of direction took their children to lots of new and interesting places without getting lost. I imagine.

Sort out child care

It’s easy to spot the moment when politicians remember that lots of us voters have these things called ‘children’ because they start talking about the thorny issue of child care. Jeremy Hunt developed ‘Sudden Onset Parent Support Syndrome’ in the last Autumn Statement when he correctly spotted what we’ve all known for yonks: child care is unaffordable and underfunded. Fifty days isn’t long enough to do the jiggery-pokery needed to square this circle and that gets to the nub of it. This is a long-term problem that requires long-term thinking. It also involves money though. It’s too late for ‘a stitch in time saves nine’ approach - but that’s the essence of my approach. Spend now, save later.

Punishments

I’d be lying if I didn’t want to use my 50 days to unleash my inner dictator. Here are some of the more punitive policies I’d introduce. Did you complain about a woman quietly breastfeeding her baby? I am afraid you’ll now have to pay an extremely hefty fine. Similar fines for people who moan about babies crying on planes and letting doors slam shut on buggies. Rules are rules, and there will be no shouting about the normal things babies do when I’m leader.

Social media is over for under-16s

Research, led by Harvard, showed that social media companies made more than $11billion in advertising revenue out of US teens in 2022. Meanwhile, Year 11 students in Cumberland Community School in Plaistow saw their GCSE grades go up by 50 per cent when they gave up social media.

Your child’s undivided attention is TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat’s business model. Under my tenure we’d give up the pretence that it’s absolutely fine for 13-year-olds to be hooked up to a social media platform for hours a day. If your child gets angry let them know I can just as easily make it 18 and to get on with their homework.

Vote for me.

At the very least, I won’t sink the economy in 50 days.

Read more Parenting Truths from Emilie Silverwood-Cope every month in the Cambridge Independent.